A Beginner's Guide to Mindfulness: What It Is and How To Use It!

Last week I shared a study showing that many of us spend half of our time trapped in the spinning wheels of our mind and not actually in the present moment. And this is causing unhappiness. I didn't necessarily need Harvard to tell me that, but it helps to know I'm not alone. (If you're interested, you could take this test to find how present you are day-to-day.) I've spent much of my life living in the past or future and got to my breaking point in so many ways. So when I came across Mindfulness for the first time, I was desperate enough to listen. What I learned is that Mindfulness is not just a type of meditation, but rather a state of being. Yes, we can practice mindfulness meditation, but we can also practice being mindful in our day to day lives! Let me explain. 

What is Mindfulness

Mindfulness is defined as:

paying attention, on purpose, to the present moment with a kind and curious attention, and a willingness to be with what is.

As you can see, this "practice" is about becoming aware of the present moment, no matter where you are or what you are doing, but doing it in a specific way. 

First, as the definition says, we start to bring a kind and curious attention to the present moment. Most of us place so many judgments on our experiences—I like or dislike this thing, this emotion is bad or good, that person is right or wrong. This is the basic function of our mind, to THINK. In fact, you are I are here today because our ancestors learned to constantly scan for danger and find things to change or control (if there was a lion they needed to jump into action, hopefully away from the lion).  

So our brains and its thoughts and judgments aren’t our enemies, as I've spent many years thinking. They are just doing their job and like so many things in life, sometimes go too far. The great news is that with mindfulness, we get the opportunity to re-relate to our minds and what's going on around us. This act of re-relating shook up my world in the best way possible. 

So, how do we start re-relating? We practice! When we bring our attention to the way we are paying attention, we can start to loosen these judgmental habits. A teacher of mine once suggested I think of my brain as the cutest puppy or kitten (whatever floats your boat) that I've ever seen. We all know that a puppy will do its business anywhere but where we want it to at first. And we (usually) don't yell or give up on that puppy but instead gently guide it to where we want it to go, away from what we don't want it to do. The practice of mindfulness is the same gentle guidance away from the old habits and into the new ones. Bringing the image of a puppy to mind as I was first starting helped me access some of this kindness towards myself and the present moment. And thanks to neuroplasticity, each time you practice coming to the present moment in this way, you are carving new pathways in the brain, eventually making this your new mode of operation! We train these new habits just like we trained the old ones, the same way we build muscles when working out consistently.  

The other way we bring our attention to the present moment using Mindfulness is with a willingness to be with what is. This concept is also referred to as equanimity, or a state of balance, even-mindedness, and a sense of stability and calm amidst the changing nature of life. To be clear, this willingness is not me saying I love what's happening in this moment. It doesn't even mean that I'm ok with what’s happening. I may not be ok with it, but I can work towards be willing to sit with it, to recognize it as true. Because when I am not willing to be with what is, I suffer. This suffering is optional. The saying goes pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. 

I think it's important to clarify that practicing Mindfulness, with it's kind and willing attention, does not mean we accept unacceptable situations or that we become dispassionate or disconnected from life. In fact, I think we can ultimately be more proactive and engaged when we aren’t in resistance to what is happening. If we see a moment for what it really is, we can respond in a way that aligns with our values rather than reacting from a storyline that may be running in our head.

History of Mindfulness

Curious about where this term and practice you may be hearing about all the time come from? So was I! The secular (aka non-religious) mindfulness we now see in the West can be traced back to the Eastern religious traditions thousands of years ago! Though most modern Western practitioners and teachers of Mindfulness (including the ones I've studied with) learned about it in the Buddhist and Hindu tradition, it is said that it also has roots in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. I love that this essential principle from such diverse histories has been distilled into a modern practice we can all benefit from. 

As for the word itself, Mindfulness is a translation of sati, a word in the Pali language of ancient India — in which many original Buddhist texts were written — that roughly means "awareness." This word was picked up and used by Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the Center for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, who is credited for bringing Mindfulness to the West. Kabat-Zinn founded the Stress Reduction Clinic at the school, where he adapted Buddhist teachings on mindfulness and developed what is now called “Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction” (MBSR), removing the Buddhist framework and putting MBSR in a scientific context. Many believe the downplaying of the connection to Buddhism is why the MBSR (and other similar) programs have been successfully adopted by the scientific and academic communities in schools, prisons, hospitals, veterans centers, and other environments.

Jack Kornfield, Sharon Salzberg, and Joseph Goldstein also played a large role in bringing mindfulness to the West when they founded the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in 1975. The IMS helped introduce mindfulness meditation to the West, and this combined with MBSR helped popularize Mindfulness in the West (and the US in particular) within both clinical and non-clinical populations.

Mindfulness and Meditation

We all have the natural ability to be mindful, but when you intentionally practice it on a daily basis, it becomes more readily available. There are many ways to practice Mindfulness in your everyday life like I mentioned last week, but I find the practice of Mindfulness meditation to be one of the most effective ways to engage and affect change in my life. 

When we practice one of the many types of Mindfulness meditation, we do our best to let go of any judgments and observe the world, and our mind, with a kind and curious attention. Whether that is scanning through the body, following the breath, or listening to sounds around you, all you need to do is bring your attention back to the present moment! It’s simple but does take some effort.

This style of meditation has been called the "training ground" for learning Mindfulness for good reason. At first, we practice becoming present to what's going on around us for short periods of time. But the more we practice, the more we are able to extend the time we can be present, even in our daily life. This skill helps us deal with challenges life may throw our way, but it also helps us find more joy and peace. I have felt this joy and peace in my own life and I love helping others find it as well! If you'd like to try out some Mindfulness meditations, you can check out on of my free offerings on my website or Instagram. If you’d like more support building your own Mindfulness practice, contact me to set up a free virtual consultation to learn how I can help!

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