Name It To Tame It: Tending to Our Emotional Life to Regain Control

A few weeks ago on social media, I shared a quote from Australian meditation teacher Manoj Dias,

“Allowing our bodies to feel the weight of our emotions without creating a story around them is how we transform our heartbreak into compassionate action.”

This quote has made me think a lot about tending towards our own emotional life, and how mindfulness is a practice that helps me turn towards what is present for me, with a kind and curious awareness, so I can process and move forward.

NAME IT TO TAME IT

The saying goes, "Name It To Tame It", and research has shown that labeling, or saying hello to, a challenging emotion helps us regain control. If you are like me, you'll geek out knowing that this is because the naming of the emotion appears to dampen activity in the brain's emotional centers, including the amygdala, which allows the frontal part of our brains (the reasoning and thinking part) to step forward and take control.

TAKING THINGS LESS PERSONALLY

This is the sweet spot that our meditation practice helps us enter. Mindfulness gives us a moment of space between our emotions and our reactions to the emotions. If I can mindfully say hello to the anger (or fear, anxiety, etc.) that is here, I don't have to BE the anger or emotion that is here. I don't have to take the emotions as personally, I can just notice they arise and go away. If I can just see what's here, I can make a choice on how to engage or react to the emotions, rather than letting them control me.

TURNING TOWARDS DISCOMFORT

So much of the work I am doing right now is looking deeply into myself, my habits, and my unconscious biases and these are often quite challenging. I need to cultivate and return to the resources available to me in my body to sit with the truths. To say hello to what is going on rather than avoiding the discomfort and intensity. In my opinion, this is a time of turning towards the discomfort. It’s messy and challenging, but we can show up with mindfulness and our kind and curious attention as we do it.

In this week's IG Live meditation I shared a practice of cultivating that resource in our own bodies so we can turn towards whatever we are experiencing the present moment. We practice saying hello to what is here so we have the bravery to show up for the challenging moments. I hope you enjoy!